I've been replaying a lot of things in my head and wondering how different things would be if my first and I had worked out and to no avail could I figure out if life would be better worse right about now. I think I need to be more confident in the "everything happens for a reason" way of life.
Truly, if I stayed with my ex during some of our break periods, I wouldve missed out on the "fuck love" dates I used to have with my homegirls. I don't think I ever wouldve met some people or stayed friends with other people.
Life is so funny to me because its so complex and you can't solve it like a mystery no matter how hard you try, no matter how many breaks you take to rethink what you're doing and it definitely doesn't matter how many mistakes you make or time you lose. Every wasted experience or lack of experience is more of a loss than it is to do something and learn from that mistake. It may sound crazy, but you never the outcome of things.
Some say life is predetermined, others think its random and cruel. I think it doesn't matter, because at the very end its up to you to choose if it works out or not. My life is going to work out. I'm still young, unfortunately single, but proudly independent. People may think its bad to say "I'm used to being disappointed" but it actually gives me a greater appreciation for self!
"Forgive me first love
I need to get away
To feel again--"
Adele's "First Love"
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