Don't take anyone for granted.

As I try to go to sleep, I recant the events of today and wonder about the path of life. My ex-boyfriend, first boyfriend ever actually, had a heart attack. He's become a chain smoker and apparently he has a horrible health history in his family. Built dude like that breaking down before me was very scary.

What scared me the most was losing someone that I shared so much with. I just came to grips with our relationship ending, but knowing that he couldve been gone from this earth broke me down quicker than anything ever before. Everything really blew out of place for me today.

I remembered how strong he once was, how strong he made me and it seems like we both crashed when we ended, but just as I am putting together the pieces of my life, I'm realizing that he doesn't fit in it anymore. I love him so much and I loved him so hard, but I truly have to let him go.

My best male friend said something that scared me even more, but it was more of an afterthought. He said somedays he doesn't even want to get up. I've always understood him and at that very moment, it clicked to me why he's my brother. We mirror on so many levels, playing rock for other people, going thru our own trials and tribulations as well as having to grow in our own together but alone.

I pray for them both.

Don't take anyone for granted, including those no longer in your life because the experiences you share with each and every individual make you who you are. Sometimes the bad experiences aren't just growing/learning experiences, but they can be reminders of why somethings aren't meant to be.