Sigh

Why do I feel like it's going to be a long time before I can be truly settled and happy? I mean, things are getting better, but in a very slow way it feels like. I have friends that are genuinely happy for me... at times. Me being happy seems like the norm to people around me, but what some don't realize is how hard it is waking up and pushing myself to do things can be. No one is patting me on the back, or constantly encouraging me to do anything, I'm doing it.

There are people around me that I feel take a lot of things for granted, but outside looking in, they could find their things to say about me as well. Im employed, but unsatisfied with work. I have a place to live, but not my own. I have transportation, but it's inconvenient and public.

I feel like I'm one of those people that will have to keep pushing just to make ends meet.

I need to be in New York. This trip is only the beginning.

Know it.